True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
