She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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