I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
