It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
