so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
