which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
