yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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