Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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