I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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