I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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