I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Ketchup is God's man juice
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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