If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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