Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
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