hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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