before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I didn't notice because vodka
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize