He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
