Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
