Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
