you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
