just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
