pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize