I could make wine with my vomit
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
