New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
