that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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