The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize