Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
