We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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