This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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