I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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