you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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