I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
