if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
