On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
