I met the friendliest cop last night
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
