I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
