omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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