I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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