is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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