It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i believe in u and ur pee
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