I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Blood and glitter go together right?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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