I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She even gives head with a lisp.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
