508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
