worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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