Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
