I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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