i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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