Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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