Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
