Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
