Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
