started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
