singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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