i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
