She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
This gyro tastes like lonliness
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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