I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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