Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
