Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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