Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
