that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
