just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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