to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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