Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
