dude i'm inner monologue high
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She bit a glass in half.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
