How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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