it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
