living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
