i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
How naked do you want me to be?
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