Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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