You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
