you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize