it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize